Day 40, at home in Studio Sat Kirtan, Amsterdam

In the end it is the last day of the tour and it is nice to do it in my own house, as I had been on the road for 40days and the 40days before I'd lived in the Golden Temple Restaurant. So the energy needs to be build again, therfore I'm just listening continously to Ra Ma Da Sa. Through this experience, I've really started to love my own place, it's nice and cosy. I'll start teaching here again. 

Harmien, Guru Baba is her to join me and we have a nice sadhana. It's been a wonderful, inspirering spiritual journey and it gave me so much more then I could ever expect. I'm very grateful for all the people who have opened their hearts and houses and it was a great way to reconnect to my brothers and sisters and know that I'm loved and have a home no matter where I go. The home is with me, within me and by opening my heart, my brothers and sisters will do the same. Lots and lots of love to all!

wahe guru ji ka khalsa, wahe guru ji ki fateh!

Now i'll take 10 days to finish the 'sadhanatour' dvd, so it will be available at the yogafestival in France, maybe already the one in Terschelling, but then I've to work hard on my timemanagement skills. It is a good challenge and I like to be challenged, life is a game, full of challenges to make it more attrective, more exciting. One day, I will not need that kick anymore, but now, I like it that I need it, as it will support me in getting things done.

love & peace, 

Sat Kirtan   

Day 39, Svaha yoga centre Amsterdam

I woke up in the Ambrosial hours, at 3.03, took my ishnaan in the swimmingpool of my sisters house, where I spent the night. Then took the car and drove from Roermond to Amsterdam, with the full moon on my left side all the way. Powerful green energy! 

It was so peaceful to wake up like this, chanting mantra's in the car. I was totally relaxed when I entered Amsterdam, where I would lead the sadhana in Svaha yoga centre. 14 people showed up and it was great to do it together with them.  A new experience and as many people there are, almost as many different types of yoga there are. It all comes from one source and it goes to one source. Ek ong kar... So, I appreciate the open mind of Patrick very much to give the students a chance to experience something else. 

The 2,5 hours went quickly and what I experienced here, was that my body was very flexible, as a lot of hatha yoga is being tought in this room. It is really a great experience for me to feel how much my body adjust itself to the environment and that the energy build in a certain room has such an impact on how I feel. Amazing!

Day 38, Black Forest with Santh Singh

The journey took me to the Black Forrest, to Freundenstadt. A little detour, as I actually planned to go to do sadhana with Sat Kirin in her new yogacentre in Karlsruhe. But it was so nice to drive through the forrest and be in the nature, I decided to take some healthy energy and enjoyed the clean air and the total stillness, not even a highway far away. Great!

The sadhana was nice, peaceful, clean and innocent. Ready to prepare me for the long journey back to Amsterdam, as I will do the sadhana in Svaha yogacentre tomorrow. On my way, I stopped to take an ishnaan in the river which runs through the black forest and flow in the water. After that I went to the studio of Sat Kirin, very nice and even without a tom tom, I found it directly using my yogic radar. Yes, I'm doing this whole journey without a tom tom... to give myself some extra challenges. And asking the way is a very nice way of getting in contact with people.

Day 37, Basel in Yoga centre with Hari Prem and students

A new challenge, today we played life music during the mantra's as Hari Prem and I both have a harmonium. During our training we spoke about playing together and today we did, at least a first attempt. It does need some more practice though...

It was nice to do the sadhana in this beautiful Swiss yogaschool in Basel, everything is so lean and punktlig. It is nice to feel all the different energies in all the different countries, and of course the different houses I've been to so far.

Thank you for this opportunity and again the yogacards the participants of this yogatour pick are amazing, always exercises which fit the person. It is said that sadhana increases ones intuition and is one of the signs that showes that.

Day 36 Lyon avec Sat Siri, Sahib and Jai Kartar

After the week at Karta's, which was one very long day, I continued my journey together with Sahib from Austria and Jai Kartar from England. We went to Lyon, to meet with Sat Siri. When we had found his place and asked for a parkingplace, it was right in front of his door. Perfect.

To see the teachings from the last week prosperity in the real life was a great experience. I found a 2 euro coin in the toilet of a place we decided not to eat, we had a fabulous dinner in great company and with live music, Sahib thanks for showing your gift!

In the morning after the sadhana, which was a mixture of 31 minutes Chodarshan chakra kriya, as I got up one hour to early (3,30 in stead of 4.30)... gazing at the sun, who was unfortunately hiding in the clouds, the green energy set, a meditation to be in the now, the pavan meditation and the balancing of the prana and apana exercise, we had learnt last week, the breakfast was a sign of abundance.

Day 29 - 35 Le Martinet, Teacher Training by Karta Singh Prosperity week Level II

Day 29 is a very long day, the longest one in my entier life, as it started on Saterday the 7th and ended on Saterday the 14th. Time is flexible;-) Why, well, this week is my fourth of the six week training Kundalini Yoga Level II teacher training... Well, I realized, thanks to Akal, that also this is a trick of my mind, no extra long day at Karta's. Every day is a new day, so every day location is different and I'm different. Actually, I didn't have to do the whole journey, looked at it from this prespective, isn't that also the conclusion of the Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo. 

The whole program takes two years and I can tell you, it is a life changing and soul healing week. During this week, I came to the insight that this whole sadhanatour was one of the tricks of my mind to run away from my fear for success based on this deep, deep feeling inside me, based on the life of my anchestors, that I don't deserve a prosperous life!

This week I surrendered my ego and conquered my fear. I wanted to run away so badly, hide from prosperity, run from responsibilities, the whole week, but I did not, I surrendered and stayed... I was even one of the last ones to leave, as it is such a beautiful place in the French Alpes with the river and the mountains...

I had read before that it is possible to change ones destiny and that every day you wake up, you have a change to do that... Reading about it is one thing, doing it is something else. Doing sadhana, waking up every day in the ambrosial hours in full consciousness, takes me closer to taking that step and change my destiny and free my soul of the pain from my anchestors. As I write this, it really feels big and I wonder, did I really do that, is that possible, just in one week? During some meditations I did this week, I felt that deep inside me this feeling is changed and the seed of my believe that I do deserve a prosperous, a pro - spirit life, has been planted in very rich ground. Now all I can do, is nourish it and let it grow within me. So I will reduce the space for doubt little by little and just thinking about that, wauw.. that will give me a lot of spare time.

Day 28, with Eric La Faurie

After Harbhajan and Guru Jagat my next destination is Eric, his wife Marita and their two children. I have a place so it is time for some relaxation and be a tourist and enjoy some of the beauty of France. I drive through the Gorges d`Ardeche and I decide I want to ride the water. So I hire a canoe and go for 6 km on the river. The water is high, which means the stream is very strong and going with it, it opens the way, even to go through the quick rapids, no problem. When I try to go against the stream, it is not possible and that is a very nice metafor, I feel sometimes I go against the stream in daily life and that costs me a lot of energy and it does not bring me anywhere...

To find the way, again this is my topic, i was going to log onto someone`s internet on the road, so i did not ask Guru Jagat to print the route... Everywhere I tried to connect, i could not get connection, so I drove and drove just with the knowledge that they live on the otherside of the hill from Karta`s place. I stop many times to ask the way, but La Faurie is such a small village, it is not on the map. I just listen to aad such, djugaad such, he bhee such, nanak hosee bhee such, the mantra for the masters touch and there is La Faurie and the sign to St Andre and Eric, so i am there without any detour... a miracle, and it is very nice to meet with Eric and Marita, as Eric has done the training with Peter, Akal, Truus and Gabor... still, i feel somuch fear to go to Karta;; never have that before, i am trying all kinds of excuses, it is very clouded and i forgot my rain coat for example...

The sadhana is very nice, Eric wakes me and just a quick cold shower, a foot massage of the road, as i walk bearfeet on it to collect my harmonium, to play during the relaxation. During the wahe guru, Anton and Louisa are awake and they come and sit on Eric`s lap. When I see that, my motherly feeling are very present and I tell myself I go change my destiny and get myself a baby too, now, in stead of when I`m almost 40, as it is written in the stars...

Day 27 at Guru Jagat and Harbhajan, Uzès

I arrive in time at Guru Jagats place, who is another person then the person I had in mind, I join Harbhajans class and while i am in the class, i wonder why have i not taken more classes during this trip? Well, it is as it is... It is very nice, warm loving energy and i feel a bit pitty for my beginner students? i make them do the exercises the complete times? i will take this experience with me and the new beginner students will be happy i have had this experience?

The sadhana is very nice, a mixture of english, french, cd and live music as we play wahe guru together. I feel the power of making music together, it really bonds. Beautiful, my heart is filled with green energy and i am open for the oppurtunities live brings me, during the day i even have this tought that i am going to sent a message on the internet, everything is possible in my life this moment, so do you want someone to add some action, love, happinezz and power, as i am a kundalini yoga teacher and work with this powerful energy, into your life and are you ready and powerful enough to be my man, do contact me.

Day 26 Livingroom of Philippe, Carcassonne

Having my ishnaan in the pool, which is a good preparation of the river at Karta his place. Philippe, who is in the training with Karta, has welcomed me very warmly. Carcassonne is a beautiful city and i am tested again, as David, the hitchhiker who drives with me to Carcassonne is going to Perignal (where Haribhajan is living) and afterwards to Barcelona and then on to Marrocco. I am thinking by myself, why have I decided to go to Karta? what is it that brings me there and what is it i?m taking from there.. why do i have this doubt, is it that i want to run away? When David leaves the car, to put his tent somewhere in the bush, I am so happy I am on this path and when I arrive at Philippe, I am welcomed with a nice meal and warm people around me. I feel blessed and I know again why I am on this way? The only thing i don?t understand of myself is, why do I doubt so much? Everytime i doubt this way, something beautiful is happening to me and I feel happy?. So stop doubting!

Day 25 On my way to Lourdes

After such a long drive yesterday, our busy schedule.. doing sadhana, have breakfast, play some music, enjoy the time together, do rope yoga and have dinner and that combined with heavy rains and sunny periods.. it is hard to leave!

Finally at 19.00 i do some last handstands and then i leave, with a route description to Libourne, where Marie Louise lives. Libourne is not so far away from Chapdeuil. I call Marie-Louise, reach her husband and notice that my french is not as bad as I tought it was. We have a nice conversation, and in the end I have the mobile number of Marie Louise, leave her a message and continue my route towards Lourdes. I saw that on the map and it was not that far away, compared to the distance I drove yesterday, so i know, that is my next destination. I leave a message on the answering machine of a teacher in the Hautes Pyrenees. No aswer. I continue driving over the small roads, the night is beautiful, the sky is pink and the nature is beautiful. I enjoy driving. Then, again the guru takes care of me, i get tired and go of the road towards, Livenue, Life now! and there i see a sign towards the castle Mothes and all this on my act now, live now tour, onwards to mother mary? I drive towards the castle, it is a private castle, light is burning, and after a little while, the landlady arrives home. When I ask her if it is possible if i spend the night on her proporty, i get a no. Ok, I continu my route, and Lourdes is too far to reach tonight. So I take a little road park my car, get out, enjoy the stars, wait until i see one falling and as soon as i see one, i know this is a good sign, a good place to spend the night, which will not be long, as i have the intention to do sadhana really early, to see the sun rise. But, having a intention is not enough, i knew that already, and again, I am being confirmed in this. Just do it, or not.. but intentions? are like air castles. I do wake up at 2.12, which is a beautiful number, just a bit too early it is a bit cold, so i take my sleepingbag, make it convertable for myself and go back to sleep, forgetting to set my alarm! So i wake up at 6, and then at 8.30!! I get up, do some strechings and take a little walk, no sadhana today!

Day 24 Lapouze, a little village in the Dordogne with Yannick

It was a great journey to find Yannick! Even leaving Paris took me the whole morning, i was just turning in big circles around Bois Colombes, la Defense, which made me think of my former job at ING. Just as I had decided to call the yogi?s who i know in Paris, Yannick sents me an sms asking when I am coming. As I only get answering machines, I decide to leave to the Dordogne. It is already 14.30 and i have 500 km to drive. Listening to the Witch of Portobello by Paulo Coelho, made this trip very pleasant and it does not bother me a bit that i get lost in space and have to drive such a long distance, the surroundings are beautifull, the people who try to help me are very nice, I even have 3 police agents escort me to help me find the road again.

The last part is the hardest, i have to laugh about myself and also get a bit irritated, as i did not prepare myself completly... I have everything to make it easy for myself, in potential, a map, but Lapouze is not on it, I have a N95, but I have not yet downloaded the maps, I have a location of google maps, but i did not print it, and did not put it on my screen, the battery of my laptop is empty, my telephone does not have any connecion.. so i am just driving around and asking the sweet people to help me?. In the end, i calm down, put the car aside and do my best to get connection to the network with my phone, call yannick and have him pick me up! in the end i made it! we have a beautiful dinner, made by his 80 year old French neighbour. I drink wine, since a long time and allthough i have been awake since 4.44 this morning, drove almost all day, i am still not tired! Green energy is flowing trough me...

It is lovely to be outside, smelling the grass, the flowers, listening to the animals, again a kookoo, the third one this trip. As we go to bed so late, i put my alarm a bit later then usual, but my intention is straight this time, i am going to do the sadhana, no doubt about it, this makes it so much easier in the morning.. i am happy!

Day 23 Paris at Ram, Guru Ravi and their 6 week old Shauvina place

Another night in the room with the guru. It is so special to sleep in this energy. I am inspired and impressed by the devotion of Ram Singh as i see his seva work for the guru, the sikhnet. It inspired me to learn gurmuki. So i put that on the list of things which has inspired me during this trip? a long list? start to take dance classes, learn the harmonium, take some more nia classes or biodanza, pick up the non violant communication, practice more?

The sadhana is great, the private concert by Ram Singh really touches my heart, so soft, so sweet, so much love i feel. I will not forget this and it made me realise that i want to be accompanied by this energy of love and kindness, of serving, selfless serving. It made some pieces of the puzzle of live, of my live, fall together, and I?m very gratefull for that. I felt the power of love and softness and that is very worthfull to me, as I am a very soft person and this experience showed me the power of the sweetness. Thank you!

Day 22 Amsterdam Oost at Amardev and Liv Avtars ashram

What I experienced yesterday, that it is hard for couples to get up, is something Amardev and liv Avtar are experiencing daily. They have done the teacher training together and i have always romantisited that. Would not it be great if you and you are partner, or to keep it close to me, me and my partner, share the same lifestyle. That would be so supporting, and I realize that marriage is the highest form of yoga. To live together as two individuals and to unite as one, is beautiful, i have done it twice in my life.

Taking this journey makes me think about my past, my choices, my chances and the love I have had. I feel very grateful for every experience i have had, there is no good and bad and i know that the guru never gives me things i really hang on to. I remember the words of Sat Hari Singh, he said if you want something, use the power of the prayer and ask guru ram das. The universe is there to take care of you, all you have to do is be open and ask. And be clear about what you ask, so that the universe is able to respond. About the subject of man, relationships, my picture is getting clearer and clearer day by day and i promise myself to do my request on my last day, so i have some time to prepare. This is somewhat against the rules of this tour, as I want to live in the now and be spontaneous and not postpone anything. Is preparing myself for something the same as postponing? No, ok?

After the sadhana it is time to go and it is my plan to go to France as i feel i need a bit more adventure and i would love to meet Harbhajan again, and singh with him the song he made on the poem i wrote;-) and enjoy the beautifull green energy of France. I had sent out some emails to my friends who I met last year at the yogafestival, to the teachers of my training at Kartas and to Ram Singh. No response yet, so i take my time to say goodbye of my friends, Amsterdam and then it is time to move on. I drive towards Paris. At the Dutch border, I make a pitstop, do my afternoon meditation in the sun and since the sun is shining so lovely, i add another 11 min. Just when I came out of the relaxation, my phone rings, it?s Ram Singh.. Wahe guru, the sign I had been waiting for. I have a place to stay tonight and a beautiful sadhana concert waiting for me. I feel blessed, as Ram Singh is a great musician, i love to listen to his music and use it very often during my classes.

day 21 Amsterdam Osdorp at Amars place

Getting up while being with someone I love is hard for me, especially since I know he is getting up with me for my sake and not for himself. That does not feel right, but anyway, I am here and we are getting up. We manage the struggle and that feels good. I already made a compromise in my mind about the mantra?s, we would listen to them while lying in the bed? So that means, reading japji and doing the yogaset and have a long, long relaxation.

Doing conscessions never makes me feel good and also now, I think to myself, why did I do this. Why is it so hard to do 40 days sadhana, just these 40 days and after that i can do something else again? I remember from the 40 days at the Golden Temple, that the middle period is the hardest. My mind is asking all this questions. So to make it easy on myself, I should contact some yogis and tell my story to them and I will be recharged again, I know that, but I do not do that, I will wait fort hat untill tonite, when we have our studygroup meeting, since I want to feel how much comes from within and how much and which part comes from outside of me.

Wht i feel is that i really need people around me who are on the same path to walk this path and i am like a cameleon, if i like the people and i like the path there walking on, i feel i can go on that road to. While writing this, i do doubt if that is still true. It defenitly used to bet hat way but while writing it down, making it concrete, i feel that the roles have changed, only not yet consciously in my head. Whyle writing this, i really feel i?d love to be a journalist, travelling the world, writing stories. This fits with my astrology, as i am a libra. So, another thing again which is important to me, is travelling. And it is time to move on, to make sure i have a place to stay tonight and a partner to do sadhana with tomorow morning.